


neon moon

by bluemoonrabbit



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Established Relationship, Feelings Realization, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Insecurity, M/M, Mutual Pining, Non AU, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-12 15:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17470448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemoonrabbit/pseuds/bluemoonrabbit
Summary: “Don’t worry,” Minhyuk said to Hoseok, waving a hand dismissively in Kihyun’s face. “Your baby will be back soon.”Hoseok’s face suddenly felt ten degrees warmer. “Changkyunnie’s not my baby,” he stuttered.“Nobody even said Changkyun’s name,” Jooheon sulked. “Just say you play favourites and go.”“Awww, Honey,” Minhyuk soothed, plopping down beside Jooheon to wrap his long arms around him. “Hyung just needs to get it together.”A casual comment from Minhyuk causes Hoseok to have a major revelation.





	1. Hoseok and Changkyun

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic, so please be gentle. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.

Hoseok groaned and slumped down on the living room floor against the sofa.

“Same,” Hyungwon sighed from above him.  
  
“What do you mean, ‘same’?” Minhyuk sniped. “You’re not even sweating!”  
  
Leaning back, Hoseok proudly surveyed the new space. Their new apartment was beautiful, with gleaming wooden floors and freshly painted white walls that seem to glow in the sunlight from the large windows. They’d dedicated the wall over the sofa to Minhyuk’s paintings and Kihyun’s photographs. A shelf on the wall beside the TV held albums — ones they’d released, and ones they’d received as gifts from other groups and soloists. He could see Hyunwoo’s phone charger with the bear-shaped cord protector sitting on the side table. Although they hadn’t lived in the apartment for long, it already felt like _theirs_.

Hoseok couldn’t think of a better physical representation of their hard work bringing them to new places. It was absolutely perfect, except—  
  
“Where’s Changkyunnie? And Shownu?” he blurted.  
  
“They went out to get coffee and takeout,” replied Jooheon. He too was slumped on the floor, sweat dripping down his brow. Although it was cold outside, assembling and moving furniture in their heated dorm had them all feeling like they were in a sauna. “Didn’t you hear them leave?”  
  
“Nobody heard anything over the sound of those two bickering over takeout,” Hyungwon drawled, gesturing at Kihyun and Minhyuk with a bare foot.

“We were discussing Kihyun’s obsession with vacuuming,” Minhyuk corrected. “You, my friend, need an intervention—”

“I’ll vacuum up everything you love, Lee Minhyuk,” Kihyun fumed.

“Don’t worry,” Minhyuk said to Hoseok, waving a hand dismissively in Kihyun’s face. “Your baby will be back soon.”  
  
Hoseok’s face suddenly felt ten degrees warmer. “Changkyunnie’s not my baby,” he stuttered.  
  
“Nobody even said Changkyun’s name,” Jooheon sulked. “Just say you play favourites and go.”  
  
“Awww, Honey,” Minhyuk soothed, plopping down beside Jooheon to wrap his long arms around him. “Hyung just needs to get it together.”  
  
It felt like they were all in on a secret he’d been left out of. “What do you mean I need to—”  
  
“Oh!” Kihyun suddenly cut in, eyes on his phone screen. “They’re back.”  
  
A deep, muffled shout sounded from the door, and Kihyun sprang to open the door to help Hyunwoo and Changkyun with the bags.  
  
Torn between relief that the attention was taken off him (but not for long, knowing Lee Minhyuk) and just plain confusion, Hoseok retreated to the kitchen to compose himself under the cover of fetching plates. Taking a deep breath, he returned to the dining area where the members were already digging in. He sat down in the remaining spot beside Changkyun, who immediately pushed an iced drink in front of him.  
  
“I got your usual, hyung,” he said, looking expectantly at him.  
  
“Changkyunnie has such a good memory for these things,” Hyunwoo commented around a mouthful of chicken.  
  
“Thanks, Kkukkungie,” Hoseok smiled nervously and took a sip. Changkyun dimpled back, seemingly oblivious of his inner turmoil, before returning to his food.

Minhyuk’s comment seemed to imply that something was different — unusual? weird? missing? — in Hoseok and Changkyun’s relationship. As he chewed on his food, he contemplated his bonds with each member.

For the most part, Hoseok’s relationships with the members were pretty well defined. With Hyunwoo, he worked out and occasionally shouldered worries that their leader wanted to keep from the younger members. Kihyun and Minhyuk, despite their sharp words, were reliable friends that he could count on to help him bury bodies (only figuratively, though; Hoseok abhorred violence). Hyungwon was a soothing presence he turned to when he wanted good conversation or companionable silence, and Jooheon was a dongsaeng to play with and dote on.

With Changkyun, things were a little bit fuzzy. 

For sure, they shared the same kinds of interactions Hoseok shared with the others — living, eating, spending leisure time, talking about music together. Like with the others, the acts of skinship they shared onstage were genuine.

All of that was standard fare, so Hoseok sifted a bit deeper in his Changkyun Drawer.

Although the other members teased him for being awkward with Changkyun, he genuinely adored him. Their maknae was uncommonly wise and intelligent — his witty jokes brought stitch-inducing laughter, and his insights, quiet contemplation, even in seniors twice their age. He was thoughtful and considerate, too. Hoseok had lost count of all the times during interviews when his words had gotten lost among the others’, only to be picked up and acknowledged by Changkyun.

Okay, so he admired and was thankful for Changkyun. He also felt the same with all the other members.

But come to think of it, no other member’s touch or attention left him warm and glowing on the inside. Changkyun enjoyed solitude and silence, so Hoseok often yearned to spend more time with him. Digging deep into the back of his Changkyun Drawer, he found a pile of Changkyun Moments that he must have subconsciously wrapped up to treasure — that time he visited the younger’s new studio and spent an afternoon composing; his warm weight whenever he sat in Hoseok’s lap or rested his head on his shoulder; the sheer joy that brightened his beautiful face when he played with Jooheon’s kittens—

Hoseok dropped his chopsticks, chicken and all.

He quickly glanced around the table to see if anyone noticed. Minhyuk caught his eye briefly, but continued chatting energetically with the maknaes, all but spraying food from his mouth. Hyungwon was doubled over, wheezing almost painfully with laughter. Hoseok’s eyes landed on Hyunwoo and Kihyun, who seemed to be in their own world. He covertly watched as Hyunwoo wordlessly removed the bones from a chicken wing and laid the meat on Kihyun’s plate. In response, Kihyun smiled gently and dabbed at a spot of sauce on Hyunwoo’s chin.

Oh.

 _Oh_.

 

* * *

  
That evening, Hoseok was lying on his bed, debating on whether to distract himself from his spiralling thoughts by hitting the gym again when his phone buzzed with a message from Minhyuk.  
  
_[get ur ass over here]_  
  
If his instincts were correct, he knew it wouldn’t be a conversation worth putting off. He stuck his feet into his fuzzy slippers and made his way to Minhyuk and Changkyun’s room.  
  
“I’m going to tell Monbebe how you order me around and talk to me with no respect,” he complained as he walked in. “Then they’ll see you for who you really are.”  
  
“Pshh, they already know and love me more for it.” Minhyuk was lying prone on his bed, flippantly waving his hand. The other bed was empty.  
  
“Changkyunnie went to hang out with Coda Crew,” he explained. He sat up and patted a space in front of him near the foot of the bed. “Sit down and let’s talk. Heart to heart. One single man to another.”  
  
Hoseok groaned but complied, mirroring Minhyuk’s cross-legged position.  
  
“You and Changkyun have been shooting heart eyes at each other nonstop,” Minhyuk said without preamble.  
  
“What?” He’d come to terms with his own massive crush, but even that threw him off. “He doesn’t shoot heart eyes at me.”  
  
Minhyuk raised a perfect eyebrow. He’d been doing that a lot ever since he’d gotten those slits shaved in. “He does, and I feel like the fifth leg on a rainbow unicorn when I’m around you all.”  
  
“That’s... disgusting and also not how the saying goes.”  
  
“It got the point across, didn’t it?”  
  
“Wait,” Hoseok backtracked, shaking his head, “you said fifth leg. Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”  
  
Minhyuk shuddered dramatically. “What I’m saying is I’m glad my room is far away from Kihyun’s.”  
  
“I noticed they’ve been more—” Hoseok gestured vaguely. “I thought they were like— some.”  
  
“Some? Maybe. They’ve been married with five children since ten lifetimes ago,” Minhyuk giggled. “They’ve been dating forever, but just didn’t realize it.” His smile settled into something gentle. “I’m proud of them for finally airing out their feelings with each other.”  
  
That reminded Hoseok of his own newly realized feelings for a certain member, and he sobered.  
  
Minhyuk noticed, and immediately wrapped a fluffy blanket over Hoseok’s wide, drooping shoulders.  
  
“Did everyone know but me?” Hoseok asked miserably. He wasn’t talking about Hyunwoo and Kihyun, and they both knew it.  
  
Minhyuk secured the blanket tightly, then patted his back. “You wear your heart on your sleeve, sweetie. You wouldn’t be our one and only Hoseok if you weren’t so affectionate with the people you love.”

“I don’t know that it’s _love_ ,” Hoseok said. “Besides, there’s so many things wrong with this situation. For one thing, I don’t even know if he likes men.”

“Sexual orientation is a spectrum, not a binary,” Minhyuk said, looking at him pointedly. “You of all people should know that.”

“Okay, that aside, what about the group?” Hoseok argued.

“We’d all support you. You shouldn’t let fear rule your life. Look at Hyunwoo and Kihyun; they took a chance and now they’re disgustingly happy together. That could be yours."

Hoseok shook his head. Another horrible thought occurred to him. “Oh god. Do you think Changkyun _knows_ that I like him?!”

The other eyed him. “Well… you do wear your heart on your sleeve.”

An inhuman sound emerged from the depths of Hoseok’s tortured mind and out of his mouth.

“Even so, he hasn’t treated you any differently, has he?” Minhyuk asked. “I think you should give Changkyun more credit. He might be the youngest, but he’s the smartest one out of all of us.”

Hoseok nodded numbly. “I think I want to go to bed now,” he said weakly, getting up off the bed.

“Good night!” Minhyuk called after him. 

 

* * *

  
In the days following up to their flight to the States for their third tour there, the members were intensely focused on rehearsals. In addition to Shoot Out and Dramarama, they’d added a dance break set to a snippet from _The Greatest Showman_ , and beefed up the choreography for Fallin’. They planned to capitalize on their famously aggressive and charismatic Monsta X stage presence to show American audiences something they’d never seen before.  

Although their days were packed to the fullest, their excitement fueled them and drew them to spend their downtime together on other preparations. There were endless potential interview questions to anticipate and prepare for, and English words to study up on. In this regard, Changkyun and, increasingly, Kihyun were invaluable.

If Changkyun had noticed any difference in Hoseok’s mood or demeanor, he made no mention of it. They continued to interact comfortably and naturally, and for that Hoseok was grateful.

He wasn’t confident in his English, and told Changkyun as much one evening while sitting cross-legged on his bed.

“It’s frustrating,” he confessed, raking his fingers through his hair. “I feel like I should be doing more for our team during these interviews.”

“I wouldn’t worry about that,” Changkyun replied as he rummaged through a drawer. “Monbebes won’t love you less if you can’t get it perfect. They understand that everyone has different strengths, and yours is your big heart.”

“How is having a big heart a strength?” Hoseok asked, furrowing his brow. When he was younger, he’d always been teased for being soft-hearted. Even now, the members liked to rib him for it, albeit gently.

Changkyun sat back on the bed and faced him. “People have different capacities for empathy,” he said simply. “My dad once told me that empathy is a really important and powerful ability because it helps people understand each other and form meaningful connections.

“And Monbebes know that too; they’ll see your efforts and love you even more for it. You just have to try… Like that time I tried to say ‘sexy’ but ended up saying ‘sex,’” he added as an afterthought, shivering adorably. “I still don’t get how they found that cute.”

Hoseok laughed and launched himself at him, ruffling his hair. The younger shrieked, but didn’t resist his ministrations.

Changkyun was right. He hadn’t thought about it that way, but he suddenly recalled scrolling through Twitter and seeing cropped fansite pictures with heart stickers highlighting his imperfections. He’d always worked hard to present a perfect image, but Monbebes embraced his self-perceived faults anyways.

“You’re right as usual,” he said, settling down and smiling fondly at the younger.

“This time we’ll have an interpreter during the big TV interviews. But if you’re really worried, I’ll stand next to you and whisper translations to you.”

“I guess it is silly of me to worry,” he mused. “Thanks, Kkukkungie.”

Changkyun smiled at Hoseok, a warm, soft smile that he’d been receiving more and more lately, and thrust a bottle of black nail polish in his hands. “Now help me paint my nails. I want to have them like I did for our encore concert and you have steadier hands than me.”

Once you notice something, or learn about something, you suddenly see its presence everywhere. Now that Hoseok started paying close attention, there was something utterly magical and intoxicating about each moment he shared with Changkyun. Whether it was the subtle increase in skinship they started lavishing each other with, or mornings where they ate breakfast together in comfortable silence, he craved it all.

In his heart of hearts, he knew he should restrain himself, wean himself off these feelings of affection before he was completely and irrevocably in love with him.

But it wouldn’t hurt to indulge himself a little longer, would it?

 

* * *

 

Whether it was by chance or some well-meaning machination of Minhyuk’s (though most likely the latter), Hoseok ended up sharing a hotel room with Changkyun midway through the tour, after the Boston stop. Somehow, they’d never shared a room before, and the prospect had Hoseok’s heart beating like a hummingbird’s wings. He showered quickly and vigorously, as if he could scrub away his nerves, then yielded the bathroom to the younger who preferred longer showers.

‘Changkyun’s still the same person as before,’ he scolded to himself. ‘It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.’

After a good twenty minutes, Changkyun emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of steam, wrapped in a fluffy white robe. Towelling his hair dry, Changkyun turned to Hoseok. Perhaps it was excitement at having performed in his hometown of three years, for the younger was glowing with joy. “I’m not sleepy yet. Can we watch something on Netflix?” 

“Sure.” Hoseok shifted to one side of the bed, and the younger promptly slid in.

Five minutes into the episode — some sci-fi series Kihyun had got the group hooked on — Changkyun burrowed closer into Hoseok’s side. Hoseok wrapped an arm around his waist. The younger boy’s hand wandered its way to Hoseok’s torso and began absentmindedly kneading his flesh like a cat’s paw.

All the cells in Hoseok’s body were thrumming. He was acutely aware of the rise and fall of their chests against each other’s with each breath. The soft, spicy scent of Changkyun’’s body wash tickled his senses.

“Did you know that ‘Netflix and chill’ is an English a euphemism for sex?” Changkyun joked sleepily midway through the episode during a suggestive scene. His deep voice sent vibrations through Hoseok’s chest.

“Really? That’s funny.” Except it wasn’t funny, and Hoseok’s heart was galloping like a racehorse. He glanced down at the younger, whose eyes were struggling to stay open. Light flickered and danced across his handsome features.

When the ending credits finally scrolled across the screen, Changkyun was fast asleep against Hoseok’s chest. Not wanting to wake the younger, and half asleep himself, he placed his laptop on the bedside table, turned off the lamp, and pulled the covers over them both. He was in dreamland in seconds.

  

* * *

 

Hoseok woke up with a warm weight on his chest, and soft black hair tickling his chin. He groaned and carefully tried to extract himself from Changkyun. However, the younger only clung on tighter unconsciously, and in the tussle, Hoseok somehow wound up on top of him.

Changkyun finally stirred awake, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

Hoseok stilled. Hadn’t he dreamed for weeks of something like this? Waking up with Changkyun soft and warm in his arms?

The younger suddenly stopped, staring up at him with wide eyes. The air between them was charged, crackling with a million possibilities.  

“Hoseok…” Changkyun whispered, chest heaving with deep breaths. His expression was soft and open, eyes fixed to his.

“Yes?” he whispered back. His blood was roaring in his veins, heart aching. He stared back, transfixed on the younger’s beautiful face. His mind clamoured with questions — _what? how?_ — but at the forefront was an endless worshipping chant of _Changkyun Changkyun Changkyun_ …

“Hyung,” Changkyun began. “I l—”

Hoseok painfully wrenched himself away. “We can’t do this. Don’t say it.”

“Why?” Changkyun asked, expression hurt and confused. “I like you. I know you like me too.”

Hoseok retreated from Changkyun and sat on his heels. “You only think you like me. You’re infatuated. Or sexually frustrated,” he said, not sure who he was trying to convince.

“So you don’t deny that you like me.” The younger insisted and sat up. “I can’t believe this. You think I’d risk our friendship for what? A handjob? No offense but I can get that anytime.”

That remark stung Hoseok more than he’d like to admit. “Then why don’t you?” he snapped, trying but failing not to sound hurt.

“Because I want you, you dumbass,” Changkyun replied angrily. “I’ve loved you for years and I thought you finally felt the same.”

“You’re right. I do want this. But we’re teammates,” he pleaded desperately. His eyes were starting to sting. “We can’t be in a relationship.”

“Then why did you lead me on and let me believe I had a chance?” Changkyun demanded. His eyes were glittering with tears now. Hoseok was at a loss for words.

“Shownu and Kihyun have been together for ages. If they can do it, why not us?”

“B-because they’re them, and we—” Hoseok knew he’d made a mistake the moment the words left his mouth.

“I see how it is.” Changkyun scrubbed at his eyes with the heel of his hand. “You have no confidence that we could make it. We’re not even together and you’re already counting down to our breakup.”

“Changkyun—”

“Coward.”

With that, Changkyun jumped off the bed and began throwing all of his belongings into his suitcase. He disappeared into the bathroom, leaving Hoseok sitting numbly on the bed. A minute later, the hotel room door slammed shut.  

Not long after, the door opened again. Hyunwoo stepped into the room and took in the scene, from the two beds — one pristine and the other rumpled — to Hoseok’s face.

“Changkyun’s in our room right now; Kihyun’s talking to him. Hoseok,” he sighed. “What the hell did you do?”

“I fucked up,” he said weakly.

Hyunwoo closed his eyes for a moment, brows furrowed, and rubbed a hand roughly over his tense jaw. Finally, he exhaled and said, “We have interviews today so try to act normal. I don’t think Kihyun’s going to let you near Changkyun anytime soon.”

Hoseok could only nod.

 

* * *

 

True to his word, Changkyun still stayed close to him during their red carpet interviews, murmuring English words to him when he was stuck, and nodding encouragingly at him when he spoke up. Despite the tense air around them, the younger still did his best to support him. It made Hoseok feel even more awful.

However, when the cameras switched off and they were out of the public eye, Changkyun sandwiched himself firmly between the resident dads of the group, hiding behind Hyunwoo’s bulk and Kihyun’s sharp glare. If they ate together as a group, Changkyun deliberately sat himself as far away from Hoseok as possible, and outside his line of sight. If they absolutely had to talk to each other, Changkyun spoke cordially, nothing more than was necessary.  

Hoseok was torn. On one hand, Changkyun’s avoidance and change in demeanor hurt him deeply, but on the other hand, he was the one who’d rejected the younger, and therefore had no right to feel hurt. Even if he knew the right words to say to the younger, he wouldn’t be able to get through to him.

Although the tour was short — only a week long — the stress was weighing heavily on them all. Because most of the attention was focused on Changkyun during live interviews, Hoseok had it easier, but he could see the toll it took on their youngest. Fan-made compilations of their maknae’s snappy retorts at rude questions started popping up on social media.

“It’s not even that bad,” Minhyuk assured him while scrolling through Twitter. “Monbebes love our savage maknae. People are mostly mad that these journalists aren’t bothering to Google before talking to us. Nobody’s pegging it as a loss of group morale.”

“‘Loss of group morale,’” Hyungwon scoffed. “You make it sound like we’re an army that’s low on rations.”

Minhyuk wasn’t far off the mark, though: the group’s spirits were at an all time low. It was only through years of experience in front of the camera that they were able to hide it from their fans. Kihyun and Jooheon had immediately sided with Changkyun, sticking close to his side and glaring venomously if he looked their way. Hyunwoo, as the leader, had no choice but to stay neutral, but Hoseok knew he was disappointed in him for how he handled it. That left only Minhyuk and Hyungwon who had an ounce of sympathy left for him, and they were expressing it by loitering in his single hotel room.

“We’re an army of seven and our rations are _love_ ,” Minhyuk responded in mock outrage.   

“Guys, can you quit it?” Hoseok groaned wearily. “This isn’t making me feel better.”

“Who cares about you? I just need you to fix this mess so I can see my ship sail.”

“What Minhyuk means,” Hyungwon said, shaking his head in disgust, “is that maybe things will get better when we’re back in Seoul.”

 

* * *

 

Things didn’t get better after they returned to Seoul.

From the moment they rolled up the tinted windows of their van at Incheon International Arrivals, Changkyun continued his pattern of avoiding Hoseok’s gaze and hiding between Hyunwoo and Kihyun. From the exasperated looks he kept receiving from their leader, Hoseok could tell he was starting to have enough of it. On the other hand, Kihyun, who’d always been inclined to spoil their youngest, continued to indulge him and shut Hoseok out. All of his attempts to talk to Changkyun were thwarted one way or another.

Hoseok’s chance came late one night when he caught him filling a glass of water in the kitchen.

“Changkyun—”

“Yes, hyung?” the other replied dully.

His bored tone and expressionless face threw Hoseok off, but he persevered. “We need to talk.”

“About?”

“Us!” Hoseok said. “What happened in the States!”

Changkyun sighed. “There’s nothing to talk about. I confessed to you, you rejected me, and I acted like a child,” he said, not meeting Hoseok’s eyes. “Even though I didn’t like your reason, it was valid. I should’ve been mature about it.”

Hoseok was taken aback. This was not how he’d wanted it to go. He’d thought he’d be able to talk things through with the younger, maybe find a middle ground, but he didn’t expect to be shut down before the conversation even started. Suddenly he couldn’t find the words to say, much less his voice to say them with.

“I guess I misread you, or overestimated how you felt,” Changkyun continued contemplatively. He suddenly smiled at Hoseok; an unnaturally bright smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I’ll get over it, hyung. This won’t come up again. Good night!”

Hoseok watched as Changkyun fled, and felt as though the younger had torn away a piece of him to take with him.

 

* * *

 

All of a sudden, Changkyun found plenty of reasons, fabricated or otherwise, to spend all of his time outside the dorm. More often than not, Jooheon disappeared with him. It was clear the other members, even Minhyuk and Hyungwon, blamed him for this, so Hoseok avoided the dorm as much as possible as well when they weren’t practicing or working just to escape the oppressive mood.

However, there were only so many hours per day that one could spend working out before wrecking one’s body, so his remaining leisure time was spent moping and missing Changkyun at an out-of-the-way cafe near the dorm. The owner, a warm, middle-aged lady, seemed to recognize him as an idol and always pointed him at a secluded corner where he could sit for hours with his laptop without being noticed.

He realized it had gone too far on the third day back when Hyunwoo explicitly requested everyone to stay home for dinner together, but their youngest didn’t show up. Dinner was a beautiful feast that Kihyun must have worked hard on, comprising of all of Changkyun’s favourites, but Hoseok barely tasted any of it. The room was painfully silent, filled only with the sounds of chopsticks and chewing. He kept his head down, avoiding the others’ accusing glares.

As they were clearing up and Kihyun was dejectedly wrapping up leftovers for their missing maknae, Hoseok made up his mind. He quickly grabbed his keys and phone, then threw on a pair of shoes and his winter coat.

“I’m going out,” he announced to no one in particular. No one replied, but he could feel their eyes on his back as he exited the dorm.

The walk to his destination was brief, but freezing. Although the sun had set, the sky was that peculiar bright colour it always turned before snowfall. Hoseok’s breath billowed around him in white clouds as he half-jogged along on the sidewalk. In his haste to leave the dorm, he had chosen runners better suited for warmer weather, and now the cold was nipping at his toes.

Thoughts swirled in his head like the snow that promised to fall from the sky. Was he too late? Had Changkyun changed his mind? After everything, would Changkyun still want him?

He passed by the cafe he’d been haunting for the past few days. The owner smiled in recognition and waved at him through the window, beckoning him in. A bell chimed over the door as he stepped into the warmth.

“Good evening! Why are you out so late?” she greeted.

“Good evening!” he replied, hopping from foot to foot to shake off the cold. “I’m on my way to meet someone important.”

“How about your usual to keep you warm on the way?” the owner asked, peering at his face. “It’s my treat.”

“No no, please let me pay for it!” Hoseok patted his jacket for his wallet before realizing he’d left it on his bedside table. He looked up sheepishly at the owner, who chuckled.

“You can pretend it’s a stamp card reward,” she said, smiling kindly.

”Thank you,” Hoseok mumbled. “Um… May I please have one more? I promise to pay you back.”

“You can pay me back by bringing your important person here for a drink someday,” she said, handing him two steaming paper cups topped with recyclable plastic lids.

Hoseok beamed. “I will, thank you!”

“Have a good night!” the owner called as he walked back out into the cold.

Hoseok’s steps echoed as he walked to the elevator in the silent, brightly lit building where Changkyun had rented his studio. The elevator dinged, and the members of Changkyun’s crew poured out. He bowed quickly in greeting, and the younger members bowed back as they walked past, staring curiously at him. 

Yoonseok — the oldest member (and the scariest, in Hoseok’s opinion) — stopped in front of him with crossed arms and an expressionless face. Hoseok swallowed as the other man glanced at the cups in his hands.

Yoonseok hummed, and clapped Hoseok hard on the back before joining the others. Feeling emboldened, Hoseok stepped into the elevator and punched the button to Changkyun’s floor.

As expected, Changkyun’s studio door was shut tightly. Leaning close to the doorframe, Hoseok could hear music playing — something moody and soothing that was utterly Changkyun.

The younger boy wouldn’t be able to hear him knocking through the thick door, so Hoseok placed the cups on the floor and fished out his phone.

_[I’m at your studio. I want to talk to you.]_

The music stopped, and he heard a soft shuffling sound on the other side of the door, as though Changkyun had sat down on the other side. Hoseok sat down against the wall, and took a deep breath.

“Hi Kkukkungie… Um…” Suddenly he didn’t know where to start. “I brought you tea… Can I give it to you?”

The door opened a fraction, and Changkyun’s hand — black nail polish and all — reached out, patting a spot on the floor. Hoseok slid the cup towards it. Changkyun took the cup wordlessly and retreated his hand, but didn’t close the door.  

It seemed like Changkyun wasn’t ready to face him, but was willing to listen to whatever Hoseok had to say. That was okay.

Hoseok began.

“When I was walking here, I thought of a million things I wanted to say to you, but suddenly I can’t remember any of it.

“Um… First of all, I need to apologize. I’m sorry for leading you on. You were absolutely right about that, just as you were about me being a coward.

“I lead you on because I was selfish. I liked you, loved you so much, and it felt good to have your attention without the responsibility of being in a relationship. I thought if I didn’t start anything, then it would never end.

“I reacted out of fear of what might happen, and made a decision for us when it was a decision we should’ve made together. I couldn’t be brave like you were, and in doing so, I hurt you and made you feel like you couldn’t stay at home.”

Hoseok paused, searching for the right words to convey how he felt.

“You’ve taught me so much. How to be brave, how to be vulnerable. I’m terrified of what might happen, but I’d rather be terrified with you than wonder ‘what if’ all my life without you. I don’t know if you’d still want me after all this, but I’m yours if you’ll have me. I want a relationship with you.”

The door opened completely, and Changkyun stepped out. Hoseok scrambled to his feet to face him.

To say the younger boy looked rough was an understatement. His under-eyes were puffy and bruised purple, cheeks dotted with new breakouts from stress and an unbalanced diet. His face was a vulnerable mix of emotions — relief, hope, disbelief… Hoseok’s heart ached, but he remained silent, waiting for the younger to speak.

“Did you really mean that?” Changkyun finally asked.

“Every single word,” Hoseok breathed.

Changkyun snaked his arms around his torso and hugged him hard. Hoseok exhaled shakily and raised his arms to squeeze Changkyun back.

“I’m so sorry, Changkyun,” he murmured. His eyes stung.  

“I wasn’t going to stay away forever. Maybe a few more days,” Changkyun whispered. “I was going to leave it all behind and come back like it never happened.”

Hoseok’s heart shattered, and he held the younger boy closer.

“I might have wanted that a week ago,” he said. “But not anymore.”

“I know,” Changkyun said. His voice was wobbly. “I’m glad you’re here.”    

“I’m here,” Hoseok affirmed. “And I’m not leaving.”

Changkyun smiled a watery smile up at him. Hoseok leaned in and pressed his lips tenderly to the younger’s. Affection swelled in him like a wave when the younger responded. It felt like home.

“God, I missed you so much it was killing me,” Hoseok said, pulling back finally and thumbing away the younger’s tears. “Everyone missed you. Let’s go home?”

Changkyun nodded, planting his face back in Hoseok’s chest. “Yeah. But let’s stay like this for a minute.”

 

* * *

 

The walk back was just as cold, but not bitingly so anymore. They had their warm tea; and although Hoseok couldn’t hold Changkyun’s hand in public, walking close enough to him that their arms brushed and knowing Changkyun was feeling the same tsunami of emotions he was feeling was enough to satisfy him.

On the dorm doorstep, they were met with a cacophony of shouts and five bodies launching towards them. When the group hug finally broke, Changkyun was whisked away to shower and eat his dinner. Hoseok didn’t miss the shy, apologetic smile the younger aimed at him and the silent promise that glittered in his eyes, so he retreated back to his room and waited patiently.

An hour later, a knock sounded at his door.

“Open up, hyung, it’s me.”

At the sound of Changkyun’s deep rumble, Hoseok scrambled up, heart leaping with anticipation.

Changkyun was standing on the other side, clutching his pillow and looking tinier than usual in an oversized T-shirt that skimmed the hem of his boxer briefs. Hoseok drank in the sight of his toned, bare legs.

“Hey cutie. Come here often?” he joked, winking sleazily. He threw in his patented Wonho Lip Bite for good measure.

“Minhyuk-hyung kicked me out because he wants to vlog for Monbebes,” Changkyun explained, rolling his eyes but smiling fondly. “And something about sailing a ship, but I have no idea what that’s about.”

Hoseok chuckled. That devil Lee Minhyuk…

“Anyways, I’m sleeping here tonight. If that’s okay with you?” Changkyun peered up at Hoseok, suddenly bashful. 

“I’m more than okay with that,” Hoseok said, stepping aside and guiding the younger in with a hand on his waist.

Changkyun shuffled in and placed his pillow beside Hoseok’s. Making a fuss of climbing into the bed and arranging the covers around himself, he mumbled, “You’ve lost little-spoon privileges until further notice. You’re demoted to big-spoon duty.” 

In the lamplight, Hoseok could see Changkyun’s ears burning bright pink. The younger boy was shyly avoiding his eyes. He realized this was Changkyun’s way of telling him he was forgiven, that this incident was water under the bridge. His heart swelled with affection.

“Then I’ll be your big spoon until my arms fall off,” Hoseok said, smiling. He switched off the lamp and joined Changkyun under the covers. He wrapped an arm over Changkyun’s waist and planted kisses on his head, his neck, his handsome cheeks, everywhere he could reach.

“You big dummy,” Changkyun giggled, his voice laced with affection. He snuggled his back closer to Hoseok’s bare chest.

“You’re the fool who likes this big dummy.”

Changkyun rolled around. “You bet I am,” he murmured, and captured Hoseok’s lips in a kiss. Hoseok kissed back leisurely, savouring the taste, the rhythm, the sensation of the other’s fingers in his hair, the joy of holding him in his arms.

When they pulled away for air, he rested his forehead against the other’s. “We should sleep,” he said gently. “We have a schedule tomorrow.”

Changkyun huffed an impatient breath. “Fine,” he replied petulantly, but closed his eyes and snuggled close. 

Hoseok smiled and closed his eyes too. The future was rich with new possibilities and experiences. They’d cross those bridges when they got there.

After all, they had all the time in the world.    
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first story I’ve written from start to finish, so I’m quite proud of it even though it's very rushed and there’s tons of room to improve. Did you have any favourite moments? 
> 
> The title was taken from [Neon Moon](https://open.spotify.com/track/5r7QVaDpYeWMcbxxrkqb6H?si=NyRnHBKrSY6vYDxV1tlfnw) by Cigarettes After Sex, a band that CK coincidentally also likes. Their songs are like beautiful lullabies for lovers and dreamers, and I imagine it was playing in CK’s studio or the cafe WH was haunting in the story. 
> 
> I’m [bluem00nrabbit](https://twitter.com/bluem00nrabbit) on twt. I just made the account so it’s completely empty and I have zero mutuals, but please let’s be friends!


	2. Hyunwoo and Kihyun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One disaster leads to another when Hoseok and Changkyun's not-breakup tears a rift between Hyunwoo and Kihyun. 
> 
> _The events of chapter 1, told from Hyunwoo's perspective_

“This is a _flat-pack table_ , not a DIY carpenter’s project. How the hell did you get all this debris everywhere?”

“The real question is how the hell do you not turn your own hair grey. It’s just a few dust bunnies, no big deal.”

“Dust bunnies, my ass! You better vacuum this up later before lunch.”

Hyunwoo sighed and rolled his shoulders. He regretted asking Kihyun to see if Minhyuk needed help. Individually they were reliable and efficient, but they butted heads way too often when they were supposed to get work done together. As much as he loved them both, hunger was starting to gnaw at his patience and he didn’t trust himself to not explode at them for their incessant noise.

He glanced around the room, evaluating the work that still needed to be done. All of the furniture was assembled, check. Nails for picture frames hammered into the wall, check. Sofas, shelves in their correct places… uncheck.

Ah, what the heck. The others could manage it themselves. He spotted Changkyun hovering hesitantly near the kitchen door with the vacuum, and waved the maknae over.

“Let’s go get lunch and let the others finish the work,” he muttered conspiratorially. Changkyun grinned and quickly went to fetch his things.

Shrugging into his winter jacket, Hyunwoo shouted to no one in particular, “Changkyun and I are going to go get lunch.”

“Pizza!”

“Chicken!”

The two bickering in the kitchen called out simultaneously.

“Coffee!” chimed Jooheon.

“I said _pizza_ , you vacuum-obsessed dust mite—” Hyunwoo quickly pushed Changkyun out of the dorm and shut the door on their voices. The corridor outside was blissfully silent. They turned to each other, eyeing each other in silence for a moment.

“After three,” the younger proposed. “One, two, three—”

“Chicken.”

“Pizza.”

“Why not both?” Hyunwoo said after a beat, and Changkyun nodded sagely.

In moments where he wanted to escape noise, Hyunwoo always found himself thankful for the maknae, whose maturity gave him a sense of calm.

Unless he chose to be mischievous, that is.

“So, chicken, huh,” Changkyun commented slyly as Hyunwoo tapped out their order on his phone. “Nothing at all to do with—”

“Not a word,” said Hyunwoo, resolutely not meeting the maknae’s gaze. He tried but failed to contain a smile at the thought of a certain someone’s cheeks stuffed full of food.

The order would take 20 minutes before it was ready to be picked up, so they made their way to a nearby cafe to order drinks for the group.

“Shit,” Hyunwoo groaned as they approached the front of the line. “I can’t remember all their coffee orders.” He could already envision the chaos he would bring upon himself if he called back to ask. First Kihyun would rattle off something unnecessarily complicated, then Minhyuk would snatch the phone before he could finish, then Jooheon would demand to talk to him, and Hyungwon would be nowhere to be found when it was his turn—

“Don’t worry hyung, I got this. Go sit down.”

“What would I do without you?” Hyunwoo asked, handing over his card. Changkyun shrugged sassily and left to pay for the drinks. After a few minutes, the barista announced their order.

“… iced orange Americano, and an iced soy latte to go!”

Changkyun trotted back with two fold-out cup holders dangling from his hands.

“Who in our group drinks soy lattes?” Hyunwoo asked innocently. He knew perfectly well who.

“That’s for Hoseokkie-hyung,” the younger replied, walking right into Hyunwoo’s own mischief. “He started drinking it with soy milk recently.”

“I didn’t know he’s lactose intolerant now.”

“He isn’t; he said soy milk has just as much protein but doesn’t break him out,” Changkyun replied, before he finally caught Hyunwoo’s smirk. It was his turn to blush now.

 

* * *

 

When Hyunwoo knocked and entered Kihyun’s room after showering that evening, the younger was reading in bed. From the cover, Hyunwoo could see the novel was in English.

“Oh hey, hyung,” Kihyun greeted, setting the book aside. He padded over and kissed Hyunwoo gently. Rubbing a palm on Hyunwoo’s arm, he murmured, “I noticed you kept wincing earlier. Is your back okay?”

Hyunwoo blinked in surprise. Tentatively, he rolled his shoulders and twisted at the waist. He hadn’t noticed the aches and pain until Kihyun pointed it out.

“It hurts,” he admitted. “Probably sore from all the heavy lifting.”

“Monbebes would argue that it’s from carrying the weight of the industry on your shoulders,” the younger joked, cheeks dimpling with mirth. “Lie down, I’ll give you a back rub.”

“Thanks, Kihyunnie, you’re an angel,” Hyunwoo sighed happily. He stripped off his shirt and face-planted into the younger’s bed. A moment later, Kihyun perched himself onto his butt and began kneading his back muscles with firm, oiled hands. Kihyun gave the best massages. 

After a few minutes of silence, Hyunwoo asked, “Did you notice something weird about Hoseok today during lunch? He had that look on his face.”

“Deer in existential crisis?”

“That’s the look.”

“You can thank Lee Minhyuk for that,” Kihyun replied with a hint of fatigue.

“Why’s that?”

Kihyun paused his hands, and exhaled a long-suffering sigh. “He broke and said something about Changkyun being his baby and him needing to get it together.”

Kihyun applied more massage oil to his hands and began working his lower back.

“Oh.” Hyunwoo frowned. “Changkyun’s not going to like that he said that.”

“Changkyun’s not going to find out.”

A tortured cry warbled from the depths of the dorm.

“… Is Minhyuk gaming again?”

“No, that’s totally Hoseok.”

“Poor guy.”

Kihyun hummed in agreement.

 

* * *

 

December brought a whirlwind of new opportunities for Monsta X. They were invited to join a famous tour in the States with all the big names, and this was the first time a Korean act was included. The whole group was extremely proud of that achievement. The younger ones in particular took great joy in repeating the script from the line-up teaser.

“… Cardi B, Calvin Harris, and… _Monsta X!_ ” Jooheon would recite dramatically as Changkyun drumrolled, and the others would explode in cheers and applause.

One evening, Hyunwoo was looking for Kihyun when he spotted him crouching in the hallway with Minhyuk. They seemed to be spying on someone in the living room. Minhyuk’s bright eyes were fixed to the sofa, and he was biting on his knuckles to keep quiet. Likewise, Kihyun was staring at the same spot, small fists clenched tightly, chin wrinkled like a walnut in embarrassment or excitement. When he silently sat down next to them, he could see they were watching Changkyun, who was wrapped in a blanket and smiling at his newly painted nails.

“Hoseok left to make tea,” Minhyuk explained in a whisper. Hyunwoo nodded, knowing where this was going.

Kihyun waved his hands frantically and pressed a finger to his lips, pointing to the couch. Hiding behind Hyunwoo, he peeked into the living room with his hands clutching Hyunwoo’s shoulders.

Hoseok had returned, bearing two steaming cups on a tray. His eyes were fond and luminous as he carefully handed one to Changkyun.

Hyunwoo had noticed a subtle change in Hoseok’s demeanor toward their maknae recently. It was as though he’d had surrendered to a wave that he’d been trying to fight. He seemed more at peace, but occasionally a troubled expression would flit across his face.

Changkyun smiled radiantly and lifted a corner of the blanket for him. They resumed their conversation, oblivious to their onlookers. 

Minhyuk turned to Hyunwoo and Kihyun with misty eyes, mouth pressed into a wobbly smile. Kihyun silently pounded his fists on Hyunwoo’s back, clearly excited about this development. Hyunwoo rolled his eyes, and dragged the two away from the door by their arms. They quickly scrambled up and followed him to Kihyun’s room.

“Did you see those heart eyes?” Minhyuk exclaimed. “Heart eyes!”

Kihyun nodded vigorously, vibrating with joy.

Hyunwoo sighed. “Heart eyes or not, you two shouldn’t spy on them like that. They deserve privacy. And Minhyuk, no more meddling.”

“Fiiiine,” the younger replied. “I’ll leave you two lovebirds to whatever it is you do behind closed doors then. G’night!”

With that, he left, shutting the door behind him.

“I can’t believe Hoseok still doesn’t know Changkyunnie likes him,” Kihyun giggled, pressing his hands to his dimpled cheeks.

“God, watching those two is like watching ourselves for the past two years,” said Hyunwoo, dragging a hand over his face. “Were we really like that?”

“Apparently we were,” Kihyun said, smiling gently. “They’re so good to each other.”

Hyunwoo sat on the bed and leaned back, admiring Kihyun’s beautiful face and the soft expression that illuminated it. Nothing compared to the elegant slope of his nose, his expressive eyes, or his delicately shaped lips.

Kihyun caught his stare and blushed. “W-what are you looking at?” he demanded.

“Just you. You’re so good to me too.”

 

* * *

 

The tour started off with a bang. Their schedules were packed and the days were long, but the enthusiastic reception they received energized them and lifted their spirits.

All of that, however, came to an end on the morning after the Boston stop. 

Hyunwoo was woken up by an insistent pounding at his hotel room door. He carefully extracted himself from Kihyun’s arms, slipped on a robe over his boxers, and looked through the peephole.

Changkyun was on the other side, glancing anxiously up and down the hallway. He opened the door, and the younger immediately barged in, dragging a half-zipped suitcase behind him.

Hyunwoo was about to ask their maknae what he was doing here so early when he saw the look of raw anguish on his face. Changkyun sniffled, rubbing at his tearful red eyes.

“Hyunwoo?” Kihyun said sleepily, propping himself up onto his elbows. “What’s going on?”

“Kihyunnie-hyung,” Changkyun croaked.

“Changkyunnie?” Kihyun shot up, suddenly wide awake. “What—”

Hyunwoo watched, shell-shocked, as their youngest crawled into Kihyun’s arms and began sobbing into his neck. Kihyun patted soothingly on Changkyun’s back, stroking his hair and murmuring indistinctly to him. Hyunwoo could see the gears churning in Kihyun’s head. His own were racing to connect the dots.

Kihyun looked up at Hyunwoo, brow creased with worry, and mouthed “Hoseok.” He pointed a finger at the door, silently beseeching Hyunwoo to go talk to him while he comforted their youngest.

Of course, what else could it be? Hyunwoo nodded tiredly, got dressed, and left the room with the spare key cards in hand.

When he opened the door to Hoseok and Changkyun’s hotel room, he was met with the very sight he’d been dreading to see. Of the two twin-sized beds in the room, only one showed any sign of being slept in the night before. The other was practically untouched.

Hoseok himself was sitting on the edge of the rumpled bed, his eyes wet and his face a complicated mixture of emotions.

“Changkyun’s in our room right now; Kihyun’s talking to him,” Hyunwoo said. He felt it would be wiser to not mention that the maknae was currently crying his eyes out. “Hoseok, what the hell did you do?”

“… I fucked up.”

Hyunwoo clenched his teeth and massaged his temples. As a friend, he wanted dearly to draw Hoseok into his arms and comfort him. However, they were in the midst of an extremely important tour that could be a pivotal point in their careers, so he could only act as a leader now. He thought about all the interactions he’d noticed between Hoseok and Changkyun of late. They’d been growing so much closer lately that a step forward in their relationship was almost inevitable. Hoseok must have severely misstepped to rouse such an extreme reaction in their even-tempered maknae. 

Amidst all this, a horrible, selfish thought snaked into his head: _Why couldn’t they have waited until after the tour to do this?_ He immediately admonished himself and sighed.

“We have interviews today so try to act normal.” He winced internally at his poor word choice. “I don’t think Kihyun’s going to let you near Changkyun anytime soon.”

 

* * *

 

Both Changkyun and Hoseok refused to comment more about what happened, but it was clear as day — not just to Hyunwoo and Kihyun, but also the other members — what must have transpired to cause their falling out. Kihyun and Jooheon immediately appointed themselves as Changkyun’s personal protection squad and began shielding their maknae from Hoseok’s heartbroken, longing stares. While Hyungwon and Minhyuk seemed to hold Hoseok responsible, they still spent their downtime keeping him company.

Hyunwoo was caught squarely in the middle.

On one hand, he was frustrated with Hoseok for hurting Changkyun. On the other hand, Changkyun’s reliance on Kihyun and Kihyun’s willingness to spoil him were posing a huge problem, and even driving a wedge between Hyunwoo and Kihyun. It started off small, with Kihyun choosing to eat at all the places Changkyun wanted, or swapping Hyunwoo out of their shared hotel room so he could stay with the maknae. However, it escalated to a peak one night when they were debriefing after a particularly bad interview.

“Changkyun-ah, I know the interviewer was unprofessional, but if something like this happens again please don’t sass them like you did.”

“I’m sorry, hyung,” said Changkyun miserably. “I’ll do better next time.”

At the sight of Changkyun’s wobbling pout, Kihyun cut in, “There’s nothing to be sorry for. It just looked like Changkyunnie didn’t understand the question at first. All the netizens sympathize with us anyway.”

Hyunwoo stared at Kihyun in disbelief. “Can I talk to you for a moment?”

“You need to stop babying Changkyun like this,” he said once they were outside in the hotel corridor. “You’re spoiling him, and he’s getting sloppy at his work. This is not helping the situation at all.”

“Can’t you cut him some slack?” Kihyun’s eyes were hard as he argued back. “He’s heartbroken, he’s been picking at his food, and he barely sleeps at night. How could you be so heartless?”

“I’m not asking you as your partner or your friend,” Hyunwoo said gently. He hated what he was about to say, but he knew it couldn’t be avoided. “I’m asking you as the leader of the group.”

Kihyun’s jaw clenched and his expression shuttered.

 

* * *

 

For the first time, Hyunwoo felt powerless and ineffectual as their leader. After their return to Seoul, Kihyun continued to disregard Hyunwoo’s request and kept spoiling the maknae. Although Kihyun still spoke to Hyunwoo normally, Hyunwoo got the distinct feeling he was being shunned by the younger.

One day, Hoseok and Changkyun both started avoiding from the dorm altogether, leaving early in the morning, coming home late at night, and ignoring messages and calls. Hyunwoo tried searching for them in their usual haunts, but couldn’t find them to his surprise. Even his last ditch effort of asking everyone to stay home for dinner failed, with the maknae leaving his message in the group chat on read.

In the past when he had moments of doubt, he would turn to Hoseok or Kihyun for advice. They were both very attuned to the emotions of others, and more often than not saw things that were hidden to him. This time, turning to them for advice when they were the source of his worries was clearly not an option.

If there was one good thing that came out of the failed family dinner, it was that Hoseok finally mustered up the courage to find Changkyun and bring him back home. However, Hyunwoo was not naive enough to think that the maknae’s return could repair the gulf that had been created between himself and Kihyun. Was he really as heartless as Kihyun said? Is that why he was being shunned by the younger now? In that respect, he was truly at a loss.

Surprisingly, it was Jooheon who came to the rescue after their disastrous dinner.

“I see there’s been trouble in paradise,” he said, handing Hyunwoo a beer and a bottle opener.

“Hey Jooheonie.” He opened the bottle and clinked it against the younger’s. “Tell me I’m not crazy.”

“You’re not crazy,” Jooheon deadpanned.

“You’re just saying that because I asked you to.”

Jooheon chuckled and took a swig from his bottle. “I sided with Changkyunnie because he’s my best bro, and that’s what bros do, y’know? I kept Wonho-hyung away from him during the tour because I thought he might’ve made the situation worse, and as awful as it sounds, we needed Changkyunnie in tip-top shape.”

Hyunwoo nodded. “That occurred to me too, actually.”

“What I think Kihyun-hyung was doing even after we got back wasn’t good for Changkyun at all, though. We all have to face our realities, and Kihyun-hyung was keeping him from doing that.”

“Thank you, Jooheon-ah.”

“But I can see why you and Kihyun-hyung are together, though. He really treats other people how he’d like to be treated.”

That comment opened a flood of realization. It dawned on Hyunwoo that he’d been looking at it all wrong.

“I need to go talk to Kihyun,” he said, standing up.

“Okay?” Jooheon replied in confusion. “Good luck, hyung.”

Hyunwoo found Kihyun making tea in the kitchen and cornered him by the counter.

“Kihyunnie,” he began. “All of this, the spoiling, the dinner. It’s not just about cheering Changkyun up, is it?”

Kihyun looked up, shocked and wide-eyed. His expression melted into guilt, and he bowed his head. Hoisting himself up to sit on the counter, he admitted in a small voice, “You’re right, it wasn’t.”

Hyunwoo stepped in front of him and took his hand in his own, smoothing a thumb over his soft wrist. “Will you tell me why?”

His heart hurt as Kihyun nodded miserably. The younger was silent for a moment.

“I’ve been thinking about why I reacted the way I did, and why I acted the way I did,” Kihyun said quietly, still staring at the floor. “I think it was because I was scared that what happened to them could happen to us one day, and I could imagine how Changkyun must have felt.”

Hyunwoo stroked Kihyun’s cheek. “You know I won’t let that happen, right? I love you, you love me, and we can work through anything together.”

Kihyun’s fingers bunched in his T-shirt. “I know, I do love you. You’re my favourite person in the entire world. It’s just that I still don’t get why you love _me_. I’m hot-tempered, I nag, I like things to be a certain way, and not everyone has the patience for that.”

“All of that is true,” Hyunwoo said, smiling despite the situation.

Kihyun’s shoulders slumped dejectedly. Hyunwoo tilted his chin up.

“But I love you anyway. Your faults don’t take away from your strengths. You’re kind, loving, intelligent, and dedicated. You make my heart stop everytime you smile at me, you make me feel like I’m home, you make me feel like I can achieve anything.”

Hyunwoo continued as Kihyun stared at him in wonder.

“So what if we fight sometimes? We’ll work through it together, learn from the experience, and love each other even more.”

Kihyun nodded contemplatively. “Thank you, Hyunwoo,” he said, finally smiling. He leaned into the hand Hyunwoo had placed on his cheek, and clasped his own hand over it. They quietly savoured the moment, listening to each other’s breaths.

“… You’re supposed to kiss me now,” Kihyun prompted.

“Of course, my love,” Hyunwoo chuckled and leaned in, capturing the younger’s lips with his own. It didn’t last long, for they were soon interrupted by loud, joyous shouts coming from the front door.

“Sounds like they’re back,” Hyunwoo said.

“All’s well that ends well, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Hyunwoo extended a hand to help Kihyun off the counter. “Let’s go.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading my fic! I've been blown away and humbled by the warm reception. 
> 
> I personally love showki's dynamic because I think their love languages are very similar despite their different personalities. They both express affection towards others by acts of service (and physical touch, in KH's case). Get you a significant other who removes the bones from your chicken wings for you, am I right? :'(

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first story I’ve written from start to finish, so I’m quite proud of it even though it's very rushed and there’s tons of room to improve. Did you have any favourite moments? 
> 
> The title was taken from [Neon Moon](https://open.spotify.com/track/5r7QVaDpYeWMcbxxrkqb6H?si=NyRnHBKrSY6vYDxV1tlfnw) by Cigarettes After Sex, a band that CK coincidentally also likes. Their songs are like beautiful lullabies for lovers and dreamers, and I imagine it was playing in CK’s studio or the cafe WH was haunting in the story. 
> 
> I’m [bluem00nrabbit](https://twitter.com/bluem00nrabbit) on twt. I just made the account so it’s completely empty and I have zero mutuals, but please let’s be friends!


End file.
